Despair
by Dolphy
Summary: Life`s often unfair...but what will Nosedive do when there seems to be no way out?
1. "Everybody seems to hate me..."

Okay,okay,I know I have to finish my story „Eye of the Tiger" but writing the following fanfic`s very important for me.One of my friends from the USA sent me an E-Mail that she would kill herself...fortunately nothing happened to her,I thank stars therefore!But I was so despaired when I knew that I couldn`t help her and thought about what could bring somebody to want to commit suicide...That`s why I started writing this story.

Despair 

_by Dolphy_

Chapter 1 :

It was a cold night in Anaheim.The little lights of the many buildings in the darkness were nothing compared to the bright shining stars in the black sky.One could see the whole city from the small hill next to Anaheim.Nosedive was lying on his back and gazing into the depths of the night sky.Why had all become so terrible? His life had been full of joy and happiness once,but now?In the last months everything had become worse and   worse :

First Canard had managed it to escape from the dimensional limbo and was now the second team-captain.Everybody was happy to have him back...except Nosedive.Canard had never liked the teenager very much and that hadn`t changed when he came back.He incessantly complained about Dive`s behaviour,yelled at him whenever he got the chance because of unimportant things like being 5 minutes too late for practise.Although his brother didn`t yell at him like that Wildwing usually agreed with Canard.Dive knew that he had no chance against the two and so he just listened to their complains without arguing anymore.It had no use.But then Canard had persuaded Wildwing to send his little brother back to school.

He said that Nosedive would only waste his spare time and that he would need a good education if they ever came back to Puckworld.So the teenager could complain as much as he wanted,their decision was made.Dive had to go to the Highschool of Anaheim.Neither Canard nor Wildwing could imagine how hard it was for a young alien duck to learn all this „Earth stuff" like American history or languages like Spanish.Every normal student had a basic knowledge but he? He had never heard about it! And suddenly he should learn it all in some months? Now THAT was a problem.No wonder that Dive`s grades were anything but  good.His older brother often argued with him about it because he thought Nosedive was simply too lazy to study.But not enough that the subjects were too difficult for him,the young duck also hadn`t got enough time to make his homework or to learn for exams.Nobody seemed to realize it but he had a full timetable.When he came back from school in the afternoon he had exactly one hour for finishing his school stuff before the beginning of practising.After that it was evening when the whole team usually went out to eat something in a restaurant.Then there was often a hockey-game or something like a movie-night Dive would have never wanted to miss.And now add some stupid publicity stunts and attacks from Dragaunus and you have as good as NO spare time.Wildwing couldn`t understand his brother`s difficulties and Dive never told him the truth.It would have sounded to much like a lame excuse.He really tried to manage all his duties but he couldn`t.He worked whole nights on his homework which resulted in sleeping at school and bad playing during hockey practise.Neither helped the grumbling of Canard or Mallory.This was so much pressure, school,hockey games and fighting against the Saurians.Too much pressure for a 17-year-old. Nosedive had stopped playing as many pranks as he did before he had been sent was sent to this damn „Panic Room" (à school) but sometimes he couldn`t resist and „had" to lighten his mood.

His victims,mainly Canard and Mallory,weren`t happy about it but kept telling him how silly and childish he was.

„Everybody seems so hate me..." Dive thought as he sadly looked up to the stars.

He had suffered the pain which was slowly growing in his heart but this day had finished him off.****

~*~*Flashback*~*~

Nosedive came home from school and walked tiredly into the living-room.He threw his backpack on the floor and fell exhausted on the big couch where he took a nap for some time.Like so many nights before he had studied like crazy in order to pass his exams.He was still not one of the good students but it was quite sure that he would manage the school year.However, he was totally exhausted now.After he had woken up again he yawned and grabbed one of his comics in order to relax a bit.Well,it worked for some minutes when suddenly the door opened and Canard came in.

„What are you doing there?" he asked strictly making his question sound like an order.

„I`m searching for a new method for bringing back the dead with the help of  mystic powers." said Nosedive sarcastically.

„Oh really?In my opinion it looks like you`re reading one of those silly comic books."

„Then tell me,oh wise old leader,why do you ask so stupidly!?"

„Hey,don`t dare to talk to me with that tone!" yelled Canard angrily.****

Nosedive jumped off of the couch and stood right in front of the tan mallard.

„If you don`t like how I`m talking to you then go away and get on someone else's nerves!"

„You little...Well,what shall I expect from somebody who`s too stupid for school and prefers wasting his time with comics instead of doing something useful!"

„I`m exhausted,I..."

„Oh,you`re exhausted?Of what?Whenever I see you you`re doing silly stuff or annoying your teammates!"

Nosedive couldn`t believe what the older drake had just said.But before he could answer Wildwing walked in the room and joined the two.He had no idea what kind of conversation had just taken place.He went to his brother and put his arm around Dive`s shoulders.

„Hi,baby-bro,how was school today?"

„Oh,nothing extraordinary,only the normal boring stuff."

„Have you made your homework yet,ya know,practise starts soon."

Dive looked a little bit unsure and confused.How long had he slept?Suddenly Wildwing looked at the comic lying next to the couch and sighed.

„I thought I`ve told you to do your homework every day,Dive!Don`t you want to understand that schools`s important?You need education and your grades are bad enough..."

Nosedive stared to the floor,trying hardly to hold back the tears.Even his brother didn`t realize how much he was working,how much he was suffering from the pressure.

Wing looked at his watch.

„We`ll talk later,now it`s time for practise."

Canard and Wildwing went to the door.

„Are you coming,Dive?" asked the white duck.

„Uhm,yeah,just a moment..." said Nosedive quietly,put his comic back in his backback, took it and followed the two older mallards.

***

The practise was awful but only a trifle compared with the following hockey-game.Nosedive was so exhausted that he didn`t manage it to score a goal, take the puck from the opponents or even keep the puck for longer than some seconds.The result was that the Ducks had lost the game...and they were not glad about it, of course.

„Nosedive!What was wrong with you today!?" yelled Canard.

Dive remained silent and just looked at the floor.Amazing,how interesting it seemed to be.

„We`ve lost and only because of you!" reproached Mallory.

„I`m sorry." said the young duck silently.It was almost like a whisper.

„Maybe you need some extra-practise,Dive,don`t ya think?" said Duke.

„Yeah,I agree with Duke." Wildwing went to his brother. „Tomorrow you and I will practise a little bit together,okay,lil`bro?"

Nosedive nodded slightly."Great,even less spare time." he thought.

The ducks changed into their normal clothes and Dive headed to his room.At the moment when he wanted to let himself fall in his bed he heard the alarm of Drake 1.

„Oh,man!Doesn`t this slimy lizard have anything else to do than annoying us with another new ´Draggy wants to rule the universe`-plan!?" he thought and went to the big computer where the others had gathered.

„What is it this time?" Wildwing asked a bit annoyed,too.

„There`s teleportation energy at Orbital Industries.I think Dragaunus is going to steal some High-Tech machines,again." responded Tanya.

„Okay,let`s go!" commanded Canard and Wildwing.They got only a yawn from Nosedive as answer.

„Oops,sorry." 

The others shook their heads and ran to the Migrator.

***

Short time later they arrived at Orbital Industries where Dragaunus and his henchmen were „at work".The Ducks sneaked through the back door in order to profit by a surprise attack.But they were soon recognized thanks to Nosedive stumbling over some cables on the floor.The fire started immediately on both sides and everybody was busy with dodging the shots and firing on the enemy.When it was almost sure that the ducks would win Dragaunus suddenly picked up a little device from the ground and showed it to them.

„Surrender,or I`ll blow up your stadium!" he grinned sinisterly as the ducks looked confused and shocked at each other. „Yes,my dear friends,Siege and Chameleon have installed explosive charges.You have no chance so surrender and give me the mask!"

„What shall we do?" whispered Duke to his team-leaders.

„I don`t know...but we have not many choices." answered Wildwing. „It`s too risky,we can`t let him destroy the Pond."

„But we also can`t give him the mask!" shouted Mallory.

While the older ducks were discussing what to do,Nosedive looked at Dragaunus and recognized something absolutely unusual for the red Saurian : he trembled a little bit.

„Will it work,Lord Dragaunus?"

„Psst!Shut up,Wraith,it HAS to work!"

„Erm,Lord?"

„What!?"

„The blond duck`s staring at us."

Both of them glared at Nosedive and he immediately turned back to his teammates.

„Hey guys,something`s wrong here..."

„Not the time for annoying us,we have to make a plan!" snarled Canard.

„But-„

„NOT the time!"

Dive turned insulted away from them and looked inconspicuous at Dragaunus.Then his eyes widened in realization.

„I knew that I have seen this thing before!" he thought. „It was in one of Tanya`s  High-Tech catalogues.Ooh,I`m trembling of fear,Dragaunus wants to kill us all with a dictating machine!"

He knew the others would never listen to him and this was the perfect opportunity to proof that he was not completely useless for the team.He ran towards Dragaunus,who was totally dumbfounded at this moment and kicked the little device out of his hands.The Ducks immediately stared in shock at their youngest teammate who stood proudly there with the „dangerous" machine in his right hand.

„Ha!I told ya that-„

Suddenly he was grabbed by the red lizard and thrown forcefully against the wall.

„I knew that it wouldn`t work." said Wraith.

„Shut up!" yelled Dragaunus before they teleportated themselves back to the Raptor.

The ducks ran to Nosedive who was lying on the floor and rubbing the back of his head.

„Ouch,that one hurted." he winced.

„What a stupid mindless fool are you!?" yelled Canard.

„W-What?"

„You risked that he blows up the Pond!"

„But...the device..." the blond duck wanted to point at the little machine lying on the floor but it had disappeared.Dragaunus had taken it with him to leave no proof of his miserable plan.

„Yeah,you got it out of his hands...but that was only luck!"

„Nosedive,can`t you think for once before acting like a child!?" shouted Wildwing, grabbed his little brother by the shoulders and shook him slightly.

„Why have you done it!?" he asked but the mask hid his worried eyes so it seemed to Nosedive that he was only very angry with him.

„I just wanted to..." he whispered,still holding back his tears.

„Kill us all?" meant Canard ironically.

„NO!" shouted Nosedive jumping up to his feet. „I`m fed up with you and your damn accusations!"

Everbody stared at the teenager as he pushed them away.

„Get out of my way!"

With these words he ran out of the building,not able to hold back the tears any longer.He just ran.Ran through the nightly Anaheim.Ran through the abandoned streets.Ran just to get away from his „friends".

~*~*End of Flashback*~*~

Nosedive sat up with tears running down his cheeks,his right hand stroking through his blond hair.

http://www.dolphys-disney-den.de/Fanart/MD/Despair.jpg

„What do they want from me?" he asked aloud as if he was speaking with the stars.

„I CAN`T do more than I do now!I can`t learn more,I can`t practise harder,I can`t fight better!" he sobbed despairingly.

„But maybe Canard and the others are right...I`m worthless,I have no use for the team.I wish I could simply go away.But I have no money,there are no free apartments in Anaheim and Wildwing would never let me move out.Maybe just because I`m his little brother...but maybe ´cause he doesn`t trust me.Yeah,nobody trusts me.They know that I can`t do anything right. Damn,I don`t want to go back to the Pond,back to THEM!But I have no choice...I have no choice..." he whispered to himself.The teenager stood up,looked at the clear night sky once more and then walked slowly in direction of his „home".

To be continued...


	2. "It`s better this way."

Wow,haven`t expected so many reviews!Thank ya all,guys! ^_^

And a big THANX to Kaeera for beta-reading again.

@BlueMoonDuchess,Orenda and  Solar-Sun : Love your new stories!Keep up the great work! (Dolphy wanna read more). 

I forgot to say the ususal thing in the first chapter :

The MDs belong to Disney,not to me…not yet. ; )

Despair 

_by Dolphy_

Chapter 2 :

It was 2 o´clock in the morning when Nosedive sneaked quietly through the hallway.The teenager realized that he hadn`t eaten anything for more than 12 hours and so he headed to the kitchen... where he met another duck.

„Look who has come back!What has taken ya so long?Not found the way?" mocked Canard who was making a cup of coffee.

„None of your business!" shouted Nosedive.

„But it IS my business when a  little worthless freak like you doesn`t obey my orders!"

„I`m not worthless!"

„Oh,yes,you are!"

The young duck felt anger mixed with sadness and despair arising in him and jumped at Canard sending both of them to the floor.They punched each other for some seconds when suddenly Wildwing rushed in and grabbed his brother by the shoulders in order to keep him away from Canard.

„What`s this all about!?" asked the white duck.

„Just a difference of opinion." responded Canard dryly.

„You`re acting incredibly mature,do you know that?" said Wildwing.

Nosedive snickered.

„And now to YOU!" the older brother said seriously. „Do you know how late it is?"

„Erm,after midnight?" the young one answered uncertainly.

„It`s TWO hours after midnight!Where have you been?"

„Somewhere..."

„Oh,`_somewhere`?Now everything`s fine,I didn`t have to worry all night where my brother is ´cause he was `__somewhere`!I had to know that he was safe there and had a good time!"_

„Stop it!" cried Nosedive.

„I shall stop?You`re failing at school without caring about it,letting us lose hockey games because you rather read your oh so sophisticated comics and playing stuntman in a dangerous battle with Dragaunus and I shall stop!?"

The young duck looked away from his brother,not wanting to let him see his tear-stained face.

„All I expect from you is to behave more responsibly! You can`t always take everything easy, you have to realize that there are more important things than just lazing around! Learn something,practise,think,is this all asking too much?"****

Dive kept on staring to the floor.

„Look at me when I`m talking to you!" shouted Wildwing.

He almost froze when his little brother looked up and he saw him crying,his cheeks gleaming wet of the tears.

„Are you happy now,Wing?" he sobbed and ran out of the room.

„Dive,wait!" yelled Wildwing. „Oh my God,what have I done..."

Canard went to his friend and put his hand on his shoulder.

„Don`t worry,Wing.He`ll calm down.Ya know how high-spirited teenagers are."

With that he left Wildwing alone in the kitchen.

„Yeah,high-spirited..."

***

Nosedive rushed into his room,slammed the door behind him and threw himself on his bed.

He cried hysterically in his pillow, trying to silence his sobbing.

„Why is he so mean to me?" he thought. „Wing has never been like this. It`s Canard`s fault that he acts this way,HE has told him to be stricter with me.It`s HIS fault..." 

The young duck pressed his face harder in the pillow.

„No,I`m just putting the blame on him...In fact...it`s MY fault!They`re right,I`m useless,worthless,just a burden for the team. They would be happier without me...I can`t live here any longer...not here,not at the Pond,not in the near of them...I can`t live here..." 

Nosedive took his head from the pillow and sat up.

„I can`t live."

    ***

Wildwing lay in his bed, trying to fall asleep. But he couldn`t. There was only one thing in his mind : the look on his brother`s face after he told him some of the meanest things he could have said.This look...

„Why have I said it?Why did I hurt him so much?" he thought. „He`s just a child,what do I expect from him?Maybe too much,I don`t know if he can handle everything I want from him."

Wildwing stared at the ceiling, it was dark in the room but where else should he look at? Several memories wandered through his head,memories of Nosedive some months ago,before Canard had come back and before he was sent back to school.Only now he realized something,something very important.

„Dive has changed so much since then. He`s more silent now than usual, often aggressive when somebody criticizes him and isn`t as carefree as he was once.Man,and I told him he should work more!I`m sure he does as much as he can!I mean he`s my brother,he has never been really lazy when there was something to do.How could I talk this heartless to him!?"

He jumped out of the bed,opened the door and headed for Nosedive`s room.

„Dive?Can I come in?" he asked while knocking on the door. „Look,I`m really sorry about what I`ve said.I didn`t mean it that way and...Dive,please open the door."

No response.

Wildwing knocked harder.

„Dive!?I know you can hear me!Open the door!"

Still no response.

The white mallard just wanted to knock again when he recognized that the door wasn`t closed.

He slowly walked into Nosedive`s room and switched the light on.Nobody was there.

„Nosedive!" He scanned the whole room till he saw a small sheet of paper lying on the table in front of the couch.He grabbed it rapidly and collapsed some moments later.As the other team-members rushed into the room,being woken up by the loud knocking,they saw their leader kneeling on the floor.He held a sheet tightly in his hand and was on the verge of tears.

„Wing,what`s going on here?Where`s Nosedive?" asked Tanya.

Wildwing couldn`t speak,he just handled her the piece of paper :

_I know that you don`t need me.You`ve told me more than once that I can`t do anything right,that I prevent you from winning,hockey-games as well as battles against Dragaunus. I`m sorry for being a burden.But you can be happy.I won`t be longer here to annoy you.I won`t be longer here...alive.Don`t try to find me.It`s better for all of us this way._

_Nosedive_

„No..." whispered Duke.

„That can`t be true!" shouted Mallory,this time not angry but extremely concerned.

„What have we done?" said Wildwing first quietly than louder. „Oh,God,what have we done!?"

Canard went to his friend to calm him down.

„Easy,Wing..."

„Easy?Easy!?My brother`s going to kill himself and you say `_easy`!?I know that I`ve done something terribly wrong but YOU...it`s also YOUR fault!"_

„My fault?"

„Yes!How many times have you complained about him and told him incessantly to behave more like an adult?"

„And you said that he was worthless,remember,Canard?" added Mallory.

Wildwing glared at his best friend.

„You`ve said what!?"

Canard was a bit ashamed,as unusal as this was for him.

„I told him he was worthless...more than once." Canard admitted.

There was an uncomfortable silence.

Mallory slowly said : „And I reproached him with being useless over and over again."

Duke looked away in order not to see his leader in the eyes.

„I`ve often told him to practise more and harder although I knew he did the best he could."

„He should help me with fixing some machines and he didn`t want to.I said he could never do something helpful and I wouldn`t need him." confessed Tanya.

Even Grin,who usually never interfered in arguments between team-members, admitted :

„I`ve never helped my little friend.I just thought he could handle the quarrels alone...but I SHOULD have helped him..."

The group stood there in silence for some moments.Finally Wildwing jumped up and said with a determined look :

„We have to find him!"

„But Wildwing,we don`t know how long he has been away,he might be dead already."

„No!He`s still alive and as long as there`s a chance I don`t give up hope!"

„But how can we find him?" asked Mallory.

„With the com-link, of course." responded Wildwing.

„Erm,Wing..." Canard took something from the floor and showed it his friend.

The white mallard frowned.

„He has left his com-link here..." he whispered.

Suddenly Tanya`s eyes widened.

„Mallory,run to the hangar and look if Nosedive has taken one of the duckcycles,and hurry!"

The red-head immediately did as she was told.

„The duckcycle!Oh man,I`m so stupid,it has a radio set,too!" yelled Wildwing slapping his hand against his face.

Short time later Mallory came back.

„He has taken one of them."

„Down to work!" ordered Canard.

***

Nosedive left the duckcycle at the foot of the hill he had visited some hours ago.He climbed to the top of it till he arrived at the place where he could see the whole city of Anaheim.The young duck looked up at the night sky,wishing there would be another way out than this.He remained like that for about some minutes,then slowly pulled a pen-knife out of his trouser-pocket and placed it on his left forearm.

„It`s better this way." he whispered to himself.

***

After what had seemed like an eternity the Ducks had finally located Nosedive`s duckcycle and hurried with the Migrator to the place the signal came from.Duke and Canard drove because Wildwing was still too upset.He just sat on one of the seats and stared at the void.

He couldn`t do anything for his brother.Damn,he didn`t even know if he was still alive!Why hadn`t he talked to him?Why hadn`t he spoken with him about his problems instead of screaming at him?Now it was maybe too late...Wildwing hated this feeling of helplessness. As much as you want to help somebody you love,you CAN`T help him.You`re just sitting there,being kept in suspense,not able to do anything,...not able to help.You just hope that it`s not too late.That`s the only thing you can do...hope...

  ***

The sky wasn`t clear anymore, the stars were blurry, their brightness blended with the darkness of the sky.Nosedive lay on his side, breathing slower as the pool of blood beneath him became larger and larger.He couldn`t fight against the dizziness anymore and fell in a peaceful unconsciousness...

  ***

Wildwing and the others had finally reached the bottom of the hill where they found the duckcycle.They looked confused around for their youngest teammate but he was nowhere to be seen.

„Let`s check the peak of the hill!" ordered Canard to the surprise of his teammates.

They had never seen him this worried...and especially not about Nosedive.

The ducks climbed to the top,searching all over for their friend.When they had reached the peak they divided and started looking for him separately. It didn`t last long when you could hear a heartbreaking scream from Wildwing.The other ducks immediately ran to their captain,pushed some bushes out of the way and couldn`t do anything but standing there like frozen.

Wildwing  held an unconscious and extremely pale Nosedive in his arms,staring in shock at his limp form.He felt something warm on his hand and looked at it.Blood.Nosedive`s blood.Oh,God,there was so much of it on the ground!

„Wildwing,we have to bring him to the infirmary before he bleeds to death!" hurried Tanya nervously.

„Y-Yes,okay." stuttered the white drake.He stood up,holding his brother gently in his arms and suddenly began to run with a speed none of the others could keep with.While they were rushing back to the Pond -Canard drove faster than he had ever done-Wildwing watched Tanya wrapping bandages around Dive`s forearms.

„W-Will he...survive?"

She looked at him with concerned and sad eyes.

„I don`t know,Wing...I don`t know..."

To be continued...


	3. „All I wanted was you being proud of me....

Well,I originally wanted to make this chapter the last one but since I simply CAN`T stop writing when I`m in writing-mood there`ll be a fourth chapter.

Mighty Ducks©Dolphy...errrm,I mean Disney,of course. 

Despair 

_by Dolphy_

Chapter 3 

Infirmary :

Tanya had just made several medical tests with Nosedive in order to diagnose his state of health.Wildwing and the others didn`t leave their teammate`s side.After finishing the last test,Tanya turned to her friends.Her look let the others realize that there wasn`t very much hope.Wildwing,however,didn`t seem to notice it.

„H-How is he?He`ll survive,...right?" he stuttered.

„I`m sorry,Wildwing,there`s nothing I can do for him.He lost too much blood..." said Tanya calmly with tears in her eyes.

„No!There must be something we can do!Please tell me,whatever it is!" yelled the team captain desperately.

„Wing..." Canard tried to calm his friend down and took him by the shoulders.But Wildwing didn`t stop...

„Tanya!If there`s a chance to rescue him,no matter how little it is,TELL ME!"

The blond duck looked at the monitor of the infirmary-computer,then back to her leader.

„We could try to-„

„What???" shouted the white drake impatiently.

„...a blood-transfusion...but I don`t know who has the same blood group as Dive."

Wildwing`s eyes lightened up with hope.

„I have his blood group!You can take as much blood as needed!"

„That`s the next problem." said Tanya and turned to the others. „Does anybody of you have blood group 0?"

She sighed when nobody answered but all of them just shook their heads.

Wildwing became more and more impatient.

„What are you talking about!?Let`s finally start with the transfusion or Nosedive will die during this _nice_ conversation here!" he yelled.

„It`s not that easy,Wing..." said Tanya calmly. „Your brother has lost a lot of blood and if I tried to rescue him I would have to take more blood than possible from you and you would be the one who will die..."

„Doesn`t matter,as long as Dive will live."

„Are you nuts!?" shouted Canard. „I can`t believe that you`re saying something this stupid!"

Wildwing just looked shocked at his friend.

„You and I,no,EVERYBODY here knows that Nosedive needs you as much as you need him! He`ll try to kill himself one more time if he finds out that you`ve died because of him!"

Wildwing looked away from him,knowing that Canard was right.It was impossible for Nosedive to live without his big brother...but it was also impossible for Wildwing to live without his baby brother.

„What can we do,Tanya?" he asked.

„I see no chance for rescuing him,but I know that you think you HAVE to do something.I can take as much blood as possible from you and then...then we can only hope for a miracle."

„Okay,sounds good to me!"

Wildwing saw that none of his teammates seemed to have his positive attitude.He became a bit angry but wasn`t in the right mood for starting an argument.He laid down on the bed next to his brother.Tanya took some of her instruments out of a metal drawer and started taking Wing`s blood and transfused it into Nosedive`s right arm.Some time later she wanted to finish her work and put the needle away from Wildwing`s arm.

„What are you doing there?" he yelled. „Take more blood,Dive needs it more than I do!"

Tanya looked concerned at him.

„I can`t take the responsibility therefore!You`ll damage your health!"

„No,I won`t!I`m fine!" the white duck meant while standing up.But soon he felt the floor _moving,_which forced him to sit on the bed again.

„See what I mean?" asked Tanya sympathetically.

The team captain just nodded sadly.

„We can only wait..." he whispered and looked at his friends. „It`s late,go and get some sleep,I`ll stay with Dive."

„We`ll stay,too." said Duke. „It`s not late,it`s early in the morning and I don`t think that anyone of us is able to sleep now,am I right?" The ex-thief turned to his teammates who quickly agreed with him.Wildwing had to smile.

„Okay,then all of us will stay here,except of..." he stared at Canard who gave him a weak smile.

„ALL of us will stay here." he said.

They were tired,of course,but their twinges of remorse would have never allowed them to fall asleep.After all it was THEIR fault that Nosedive had tried to commit suicide and was now fighting with the death.So everybody sat in the infirmary and hoped that the condition of their young friend would become  better.It didn`t...

Four days later :

Wildwing sat on a chair next to Nosedive`s bed,they were alone in the infirmary.He had told the others to go out eating something because all of them hadn`t left the headquarters since this certain night.They refused first but Canard soon realized that it would be better for Wing to be alone with his brother for a while.So Wildwing sat there,holding his brother`s hand and squeezing it softly.

„Dive?Can you hear me?"

He got no response.

„I`m so sorry,Dive.I should have noticed that this all was too much pressure for you and that you have serious problems with it and...and..." he started sobbing. „Please,Dive,please don`t die,I`m so sorry...please,...don`t leave me..."

He stroke his brother`s hair gently and stared at his still pale face.He let go of Nosedive`s hand and buried his face in his own hands.

„I`m so sorry..."

„Wing?" said a weak and soft voice.

He immediately looked up and saw his brother who had just opened his eyes.

„Dive!You`re alive!" he yelled and hugged his brother tightly. „You`re alive!Thank Stars,you`re alive!"

The teenager tried to get out of the hug,which wasn`t successful because he was still too weak. Wildwing,however,noticed that Nosedive wasn`t feeling very comfortable and let him go.

The young duck turned away from his big brother.

„Why have you done it?" he asked quietly.

„What,Dive?"

„Saved me."

Wildwing was at a loss of words.

„Why haven`t you just let me die on that hill?Now you`ll have to put up with me being here to annoy you all the time."

Tears were running down on Dive`s cheeks.

„Why do you say something like that?" Wing asked shocked.

The teenager kept on not looking at his brother but buried his face in his pillow.

„Dive!You know that I love you more than everything else,don`t you?"

No answer.

„Dive,please talk to me!I`m your brother and I won`t let anything happen to you again. I know that I have done something terribly wrong but we have to talk about it...please." he said in a gentle tone putting his hand on Dive`s shoulder.

http://www.dolphys-disney-den.de/Fanart/MD/TalkToMe.jpg

There was silence for some moments till Nosedive finally turned to his brother and asked in such an uncertain way that Wildwing was scared of it :

„Do you really love me?"

„Of course,Dive!You`re all I have,all I want!I can`t imagine a life without you!"

More tears appeared in the teenagers eyes and he flung his arms around his brother squeezing him with his last ounce of strength.Both of them were crying and holding each other tightly.

„Please promise me that you`ll never do something like that again." sobbed Wildwing. „Oh, man,I had so much fear!I thought I had lost you ´cause of me having acted like a fool!"

He pressed his brother tighter against him. 

„I shouldn`t have screamed at you,I know it was wrong...But why have you never talked to me?"

„I-I...I was too afraid..."

„Afraid?Of what?"

„You thought of me being lazy and stuff and if I had told you that I couldn`t manage school,and hockey,and...and...then you and the others would have yelled at me that I just didn`t want to try hard enough and...I hate people screaming at me...I`m frightened of it... especially when you`re the one who`s screaming..."

Nosedive looked him straight in the eyes,which were still shining wet because of the tears.

„All I wanted was you being proud of me...but I failed..." he sobbed.

Wildwing stroke his brother`s back gently.

„I AM proud of you,Dive."

The teenager stared at his brother.

„R-really?"

„Yes.You have so many duties,so many responsibilities.You are our top scorer,a great fighter and-„

„A fool at school?" Nosedive asked with a weak smile.

„You`re not a fool,I know you better than that.Maybe those stuff is just too difficult,I mean... you`ll never need most of it in your future life..."

„And why have you sent me to school when I don`t need it?" 

Wildwing didn`t know what to say.

„Got ya!" grinned Dive.

The white drake had to smile,too,and ruffled his brother`s hair.Both ducks laughed amused when Nosedive was suddenly quiet,pressed himself against his brother once more and looked at the door : The other ducks came in.

To be continued...


	4. „I didnt want you to die“

Okay,okay,I know that the last chapter`s coming extremely late but I`m sure ya know the three reasons therefore : writer`s block,no time,laziness. : P I didn`t know how to continue the story at first but now it`s the longest chapter I`ve ever written. *grins* The Mighty Ducks © Disney,even Nosedive…wish he was mine. *sniff* Despair 

_by Dolphy_

Chapter 4

„What will they say?Tell me once more how useless I am?Tell me how much trouble I caused them?Tell me that they only rescued me ´cause Wildwing would have gone crazy otherwise?Okay,Wing doesn`t hate me but...the others...what are they gonna do with me when I`m fine again?What will Canard do,he hates me that much..."

„Nosedive!!!"

The blonde duck winced when he heard Canard`s voice.

„What on earth has made you to do such a shit!?You nearly gave us a heart-attack!Oh,I can`t believe that you were that stupid!"

Dive had often heard Canard complaining and yelling fiercely but it was the first time he noticed a kind of concern..However,the fierceness was stronger so Nosedive closed his eyes and pressed his face against his brother`s chest,frightened.

„Why did you do it!?Why!?Couldn`t you just talk to us instead of running away like a coward and attempting suicide!?"

Canard,followed by the other Ducks who were rather shocked by Canard`s outburst, went to Nosedive and grabbed him by the shoulder,pulling him away from his big brother.

„Tell me!Why have you done it!?"

Suddenly Wildwing stood up,took Canard`s arm violently and pushed him away.

„Don`t dare to touch him!" he snarled in a way Canard had never heard of him before.This tone sounded as if he was ready to kill.

„Treat him like that once more and I swear you`ll regret it!"

Duke noticed that Nosedive was very afraid of their screaming so he stepped between the two team-leaders.

„Canard,I think it`s the best when you leave the room now."

„What!?"

„You`d better listen to him." said Wildwing angrily.

Canard realized that he had no choice and stormed grumpily to the door.When he was out of the room Nosedive began to cry hysterically.Wildwing immediately rushed back to his brother`s side and took him in his arms.

„Shhhh,Dive,it`s okay.He`s a jerk,don`t listen to him."

„Why does he hate me?Why does everybody just yell at me?" Dive sobbed uncontrollably.

„Why does everybody hate me?"

He didn`t see the faces of the other Ducks,didn`t realize how guilty they were feeling.On the contrary,he thought that they were angrier than ever before,that they were going to shout at him as soon as Wildwing wasn`t in the near.

Mallory stepped forward and was the first who tried to apologize for her behaviour.She stood in front of  the blonde teenager who still clenched to his brother and touched his shoulder slightly.

„Dive..."

„What!?What are you going to complain about now?Have you missed a TV-show while rescuing me?Just come on,yell at me,blame me for everything like you`ve always done it!"

The tears were running down on his cheeks,he couldn`t suppress them.

Mallory`s guilty conscience became bigger and bigger.She knew that Nosedive would probably never forgive her and the others but she refused to give up and turn her back on him. With a gentle movement she turned Dive`s head so he faced her and looked him deep in the ocean blue eyes.

„I`m Sorry,Dive...I`m Sorry for all I did to you."

The blonde duck sniffed.

„Is that a joke?If so,I don`t think it`s funny."

„No,I swear it`s no joke.It`s the truthI`ve never realized how much I hurt you.I guess I`ve gotten used to yell at you and it has become normal for me."

„That`s really reassuring,Mal."

She imagined seeing a weak smile on his face.

„I promise I`ll never yell at you again...at least not more than twice a day."

„Twice a day!Woa,I don`t think you`re gonna manage that!" laughed Duke.

Mallory gave the ex-thief a mad look and Nosedive couldn`t suppress a slight chuckle when she stood up to beat Duke and he hid himself behind Tanya.

„Oh,please,don`t kill me!I surrender but please don`t hurt me!" he mocked.

If she hadn`t heard Nosedive laughing Mallory would surely have attacked Duke.She,as well as the other Ducks felt that Nosedive`s old self was coming back.She turned towards him and grinned evilly.

„So,you think that`s funny?Then wait till you see this!"

She started tickling the teenager who was laughing even louder now.Wildwing just rolled his eyes,mixed with a relieved smile that his baby brother behaved like the carefree kid he had been before.

„You`re so cruel!"

„I know and I`m terribly proud of it!" laughed the red-head.

http://www.dolphys-disney-den.de/Fanart/MD/Storyboard-Despair.jpg

„I`m gonna play the biggest prank of all times on you for this!" shouted Nosedive between laughter.

Suddenly Mallory stopped her tickle-attack and looked at him seriously.

„Dive,why have you always played those pranks on me...and Canard?"

He didn`t have to reply,she could read the answer in his eyes.

„It was because we yelled at you,right?" she said softly.

Nosedive looked away and nodded slightly.

„I guess I wanted to take revenge...and didn`t know another way to do it."

„But why have you never talked to us?"

„Talk?I should have talked to you when you were screaming at me how useless I was!? Iwas glad when the arguing was over and I could leave you guys!"

„I`m Sorry."

„You`re repeating yourself,Mal."

„Well,in my opinion it`s so important that you`re allowed to say it more than once."

Dive looked at her and received a friendly smile.

Duke,Tanya and Grin went nearer to him,with the same warm smile.

„We`re Sorry,too." said Tanya.

„Yeah,we`ve realized that we`ve treated you unfairly." added Duke.

„If I had known how bad you were feeling I would have never been so mean to you..." said Mallory.

Nosedive raised an eyebrow.

„So you`ve only been mean to me ´cause you thought I wouldn`t care?"

„Well,no...erm...yes."

„Don`t be afraid of showing your feelings,little one." smiled Grin.

„I know that it`s not easy for you to trust us again and we won`t force you to do so...but please keep one thing in your mind : We are your friends and we`ll always be there for you." Duke looked at Nosedive and Wildwing and then to the other ducks.

„We`ll let you alone for a while."

The three ducks went towards the door and Dive leaned relieved against his big brother.Shortly before the others left the room he shouted :

„Hey guys!"

They turned around and received a soft „Thank you." Duke,Mallory,Grin and Tanya smiled back.

„You`re welcome."

As they were out of the room,Wildwing slightly hugged his little brother.

„Are you feeling better now,short stuff?"

„Wow,you`re still here?"

„Of course,why do you ask?"

„You`ve said almost nothing while the others were here."

„Well,I didn`t want to disturb your discussion.By the way I´ve said something."

„Oh,you mean your little outburst with Canard?"

Nosedive`s smile faded away and changed to a serious and sad expression.

„Wing?"

„Hhm?"

„Why does he hate me?"

„Who?"

„You know who...Canard."

„He doesn`t hate you.You should have seen how worried he was when we were searching for you."

„Canard?Worried about ME?I think you`ve seen too much fantasy-movies,Wing.You`ve heard how he talked to me,I`m sure he was just worried about you."

„Me?"

„Yes.He knows how much you love me and that you couldn`t be a good leader when I`m dead.That`s the only thing which interested him."

Wildwing didn`t know what to say.It was no secret that Canard and Nosedive weren`t getting along very well with each other but he had never imagined how bad his brother felt in Canard`s presence.

„Maybe you should talk to him."

„Talk with Canard!?He`ll kill me before I can say anything!"

„Dive,you know that`s not true."

„But...I`m afraid of him."

The white drake looked at him concerned.

„What?"

Nosedive kept staring at the void so that Wildwing realized that he didn`t want to speak about this topic anymore.

„Alright,Dive,just listen to me.I`ll tell Canard to stay out of your way till you`re feeling better and then we`ll solve the problem...Just lemme know when you want to do it,okay?"

The blonde teenager nodded weakly.

„So that`s the first thing.The second one is that I`ve phoned your school and-„

„You didn`t tell them what happened,did you!?" shouted Nosedive nervously.

No,of course not.However,you`re gonna stay at home for the next week.I wanted to write you off sick for the rest of the school year but your teacher told me that they were some important exams in some weeks."

Dive rolled his eyes.

„Yeah,I`m looking forward to it,especially to the maths test." he said sarcastically.

„So that leads to the third thing."

„You love counting,huh?"

Wing smiled and ruffled his brother`s hair.

„I`ve talked to the team before and they agreed with me that you don`t have to participate on hockey-practise and games till you`ve passed your exams.You`ll have enough time for learning and living your own life.Sounds good?"

Nosedive nearly jumped out of the bed and embraced his brother tightly.

„You`re da best,big bro!"

„That`s what I owe you."

***

For the next few days Nosedive had to stay in bed for he was still very weak because of the loss of blood.Wildwing had a big argument with Canard which resulted in great tension between the two team-leaders.They didn`t look or talk to each other but Canard obeyed Wildwing`s order,the last thing he`d said to him : to stay out of Nosedive`s way.

Two days before he had to go to school again,Nosedive was „allowed" to leave his bed.Wildwing didn`t leave his side for he was too afraid of his baby-brother collapsing or something like that.He followed him everywhere and gradually Dive became annoyed with it.So he went to the living-room and switched on the TV ´cause he knew that his big brother couldn`t stand cartoons.There was a brand-new episode of the „Simpsons",the show Wildwing hated the most.Nosedive sat on the couch,grinning and sure of the success of his plan.

„Wing will never watch the _Simpsons _with me,he`d rather die!" he thought.

Boy,you had to see the look on his face when the white drake sat next to his little brother and said :

„Hi,baby-bro,do you mind if I watch some TV with you?"

He didn`t wait for an answer.

„Let`s see,what`s coming?Oh,the...Simpsons..." he forced himself to smile. „...Great."

Nosedive just rolled his eyes and decided to watch the show,no matter if Wildwing was sitting by his side and shaking his head ´cause he didn`t understand why this series was so fascinating for his brother.After some time the team-leader was fast-asleep.

„Yeah,baby!I`m FREE!!!" the teenager shouted.

Wildwing moved slightly and Dive quickly put his hand on his beak.

„Ssshh,that was close." 

He stood up and sneaked silently towards the door and in direction of his room.He made sure that his brother wasn`t following him and looked back for several times.Not paying attention to what was in front of  him he ran against a team-member...It was Canard.He glared at Nosedive who immediately tried to run away but the older mallard grabbed his arm so he couldn`t flee.

„You don`t go anywhere." he said,but this time not with his sinister undertone.

The young duck was scared of him nevertheless.

„I`m Sorry,Canard,I didn`t see you and-„

„Be quiet."

Dive looked at him,not sure what to expect.

„What do you think of me?"

„Huh?"

„Be honest,Nosedive,what do you think of me?"

„Shall I really be honest?"

„As I said."

Nosedive was afraid of Canard,but he knew that the time had come to tell him the truth.He couldn`t run away from his fear any longer.

„You`re a cold and heartless duck.You`ve always treated me like a nobody and...and...you told me so often and in the end I began to believe it and therefore I hate you!I`ve never done anything to you and you keep yelling at me how useless I am!You`re by far the meanest person I`ve ever met!I hate you!"

Dive tried to hold back his tears and this time he managed it.He wanted to be strong,to face Canard without showing that he was scared of him...terribly scared.

„I`m as good as dead." the teenager thought. „He`s gonna tear me into pieces!Great job,Dive, you`ve dug your own grave..."

„Nosedive."

He winced and quickly closed his eyes,expecting a punch or a slap.

„Have I really been such a jerk?"

The blonde duck looked surprised at him and then to the floor.

„Well,I take that as a _Yes_...See,I`ve never had any relationships to kids of your age.I wasn`t used to somebody who`s a bunch of years younger than me.."

„And this gave you the right to treat me like you did!?"

„Well,maybe,maybe not."

Canard wanted to say Sorry but his pride didn`t allow it.He was the team-captain after all and Nosedive just a minor so he couldn`t risk to lose another part of his authority.

„I`m aware of the difficulties we have with each other and I know that we might never be best friends...but I`ll try to treat you fairly from this day on." he said,emphasising the _"I`ll try"._

He turned around to go but this time Nosedive stopped him and asked :

„Were you worried?"

„What?"

„Ya know what I mean....or wouldn`t you have cared if I had died?"

Canard was silent for a moment when suddenly Wildwing rushed into the hallway,saw the two and stormed with an angry look towards his former best friend.The tan mallard looked back at Dive and whispered :

„I didn`t want you to die."

Nosedive smiled.He almost got a heart-attack when his brother started screaming from behind him.

„CANARD!!!I told you not to-„

„Calm down,Wing." said his little brother gently.

„Huh?"

„Everything`s okay." 

The blonde duck looked at Canard.Wildwing noticed that Dive wasn`t scared of him anymore and soon realized that things were going to get better.

„Well,then,okay."

The two team-captains stared at each other,not as enemies but as friends.

„Alright,I need some cartoons now or I`m gonna suffer from withdrawal symptoms."  said Nosedive in order to lighten the mood a little bit.

„Erm,well,I promised Tanya to help her with some repairs.See ya later!" 

When Canard was gone Nosedive headed in the direction of the living-room,followed by his brother.Wildwing put his arm around his neck and smiled softly at him.

„Are you okay?"

„Sure,I`ve never felt better." he smiled back.

They went to the big TV and Nosedive let himself fall on the comfortable huge couch.He looked at his brother who sat down,too.

„No..." the teenager thought.

„So what are we gonna watch now?"

„D`oh!!!"

The end

Good ending?No?Hey,I got the idea only when I was sitting in front of my computer and forcing me to write.Maybe some of you expected Canard to say Sorry but I really don`t think he would do that and I can`t stand him! *snarls at Canard* Don`t ask me why,but I`ve never liked him.

Canard *comes into the room* : „Dolphy!I`ve told you one thousand times not to let your stupid plush-toy-crap lying in the living-room!"

Dolphy *evil grin* : „I`ve got some hunting to do..."

*chases Canard*

Canard : „WAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"

http://www.dolphys-disney-den.de/DolphyAndTheMightyDucks/CanardHunting.jpg


End file.
